Ćaskanje o ljubavi (muško-ženskim odnosima)

[Smaragdni kamičak]

пре 38 минута, Branka62 рече

@mirko1929 O čemu ti pričaš? O tome za kim će se žene/muškarci pre okrenuti na ulici ili o tome koga će pre izabrati za celoživotnog partnera?

Jer, ja kada stanem ispred izloga sa cipelama, za oko mi prvo zapadnu one "besne" sa štiklom od 15cm ali takve nikada nisam, niti bih (osim, možda, za "paradu) kupila. Kupujem one sa niskom petom, udobne, pouzdane - koje dobro drže nogu. 

Ima sad raznih pomagala... 

[Branka62]

Ima - znam. Mada, nisam mislila ništa loše o "besnim" cipelama i visokoj peti. Naprotiv. 

[Милошшш]

PRAVOSLAVNA ŽENA U SAVREMENOM SVETU – Strana 9 – Svetosavlje

SVETOSAVLJE.ORG

Svetlosne godine bajo moj..

[Paradoksologija]

Пре сат времена, mirko1929 рече

Није монах, мада фотка јесте с тих источних простора, па је зато тако обучен. А овај мрачни тип је неки Бугарин:

 

Но машиш поенту (као и Камичак што је ставила неког пешованског наспрам напуцаног мужевног типа). Расправа је била око тога ко је женама привлачнији између свеца и џибера.

 

Па јесте еквивалент. Ако претпоставиш да је ова горе дивно једно биће, а ова доле нека харпија, свеједно ће, упркос свему, увек ова доле бити привлачнија мушкарцима.

Ali ovaj mračni tip nije ni fizički privlačan. Bukvalno najviše podseća na Džafara koji princezu svaki put mora da zarobi jer njoj ne pada na pamet da bude s njim.

Ja ne tvrdim ovde da je ženama nebitna fizička privlačnost, upravo naprotiv. Tu su polovi sličniji nego što stereotipi tvrde.

[Paradoksologija]

пре 53 минута, mirko1929 рече

"There was this guy named Skutch . . . he was like this mean bully, but he was also very charming and all the girls liked him. He was the dreamboat, but he was also a bully,” laments the cartoonist in the biographical film Crumb. Robert Crumb is a scrawny, hunched artist with Coke-bottle glasses. The kind of guy teased in high school for being a nerd. “I couldn’t understand why girls liked these cruel, aggressive guys and not me, ’cause I was more kind and sensitive. . . . I was not very attractive physically, but I didn’t think those things really mattered, it was what’s inside that was important.”

 

Ono što razni inceli nekako teško da shvate jeste da, osim što je privlačnost kombinacija faktora, koji uključuju i fizičku privlačnost i snagu i nežnost u svakom smislu, oni sami verovatno nemaju upravo ni to 'unutrašnje' štagod što je navodno jedino bitno (nije jedino bitno, prim. aut.). Odnosno, često se pokazuju kao zavidni, ljubomorni, ogorčeni, besni, čak otrovni - što je možda razumljivo, ali svakako nije nikome privlačno.

A desi se i da upravo zbog raznih romantizacija devojke završe sa raznim na prvi pogled šarmantnim psihopatama, ali psihički zdrave i zrele žene će relativno brzo shvatiti da je iza fasade ponor.

 

[mirko1929]

пре 18 минута, Paradoksologija рече

Ali ovaj mračni tip nije ni fizički privlačan. Bukvalno najviše podseća na Džafara koji princezu svaki put mora da zarobi jer njoj ne pada na pamet da bude s njim.

Не знам. Било би занимљиво спровести анкету међу женама између тако неког и неког бејби фејса.

 

пре 8 минута, Paradoksologija рече

Ono što razni inceli nekako teško da shvate jeste da, osim što je privlačnost kombinacija faktora, koji uključuju i fizičku privlačnost i snagu i nežnost u svakom smislu, oni sami verovatno nemaju upravo ni to 'unutrašnje' štagod što je navodno jedino bitno (nije jedino bitno, prim. aut.). Odnosno, često se pokazuju kao zavidni, ljubomorni, ogorčeni, besni, čak otrovni - što je možda razumljivo, ali svakako nije nikome privlačno.

A desi se i da upravo zbog raznih romantizacija devojke završe sa raznim na prvi pogled šarmantnim psihopatama, ali psihički zdrave i zrele žene će relativno brzo shvatiti da je iza fasade ponor.

Јеси прочитала до краја? Задња реченица Crumb leans back in his chair and laughs. “Yeah. All that changed after I got famous."

[mirko1929]

пре 21 минута, Paradoksologija рече

Ja ne tvrdim ovde da je ženama nebitna fizička privlačnost, upravo naprotiv. Tu su polovi sličniji nego što stereotipi tvrde.

Занимљив је и осврт на женске фантазије. Из Conscupience of the Coercion, иста књига

I blame my recurring rape fantasy on the fact that I’m a feminist. I’ve never made any bones about getting boned in exactly the fashion that I want. But as a girl, my equipment can be trickier to manage, therefore I need to be a boss in the bedroom to ensure I get worked the right way. It gets really tiresome always being the one in charge, and don’t shrinks say that people usually fantasize about the opposite of their reality? I guess that’s why I find myself wishing that my typically sugary-sweet sexual encounters were sometimes peppered with assault.

So opens the essay entitled “One Rape, Please (to go)” authored by Ms. Tracie Egan Morrissey in the online magazine Vice. Egan describes her botched attempt at indulging her coercion fantasy. She hires a male escort: a young, handsome gigolo in New York City. She wants him to wear a ski mask because “it would also be extra scary and thrilling and hot.” Unfortunately for Egan, the fantasy peters out prematurely as the hired ruffian ends up falling for her. Instead of violating her resisting body, he begs to see her again.

For both ordinary women and female scientists, the widespread prevalence of female coercive fantasies is an understandable source of discomfort and hand-wringing. The subject frequently leads to defensiveness: getting excited by a fantasy is not the same thing as wanting it in real life. “Arousal is not consent,” asserts psychologist Meredith Chivers. In fact, many women emphasize that rape fantasies involve a meaningful level of consent in that the woman consents to having the fantasy. “Perhaps this is why some women can still enjoy rape scenes in romance novels or e-rom,” ponders one woman, “they have consented to participate in the mental experience and thus have control over the situation.”

In romance novels from the 1970s and ’80s, the heroine was frequently raped. And not a verbal seduction followed by gentle coercion, either. Heroines were sometimes violated by a gang of pirates, sold into sexual slavery, or smacked around until their mouths bled. The hero himself often forced himself on the heroine, such as the pirate Griffin raping Celia Vallerand or Wood-iwiss’s Flame raping the Flower.

Rape romances reached their pinnacle in the classic 1980s “bodice rippers,” with feisty heroines and very-bad-boy heroes set on revenge. Here is a sample from Christine Monson’s 1984 Stormfire . Irish rebel Sean Culhane has abducted Catherine Enderley, an English countess and daughter to the English aristrocrat who arranged the massacre that killed Sean’s mother.

He climbed atop her, caught her hands and pinned them above her head, then threw a leg over her lower body. When she felt the pressure of his sex against her bare thigh, she suddenly went berserk and fought him in dumb, choking terror. Clamping her wrists with one hand, he methodically ripped the camisole and petticoat from her straining body, then lay full length upon her, forcing her to submit to his nakedness until she lay exhausted, heart thudding against his ribs. Sensing the trigger to her fear, he deliberately smeared her breasts with his blood so that her body was slippery under him. Relentlessly, he pursued her into the void.

The author’s description is still rather literary and emotional, especially compared to the graphic detail and physical violence of male-targeted coercion erotica. Scientists point out that the men in many of these female coercion fantasies are handsome, appealing alphas—the kind of partner that appeals to Miss Marple. “What is ‘wished for’ in real life is surrender to a powerful and attractive selected male and a sense of danger, excitement, and passion in real-life relationships,” observed two psychologists in a 2008 review of rape fantasy research.

But Meredith Chivers also points out that there is something primordial about female fantasies of submission. “It’s the wish to be beyond will, beyond thought. To be all in the midbrain.” Though academic research focuses on the notion that coercion involves desirable male partners, many amateur stories written by women depict rapes by unattractive and brutal men in shuddering detail.

Literotica is the single most popular English-language erotic story site on the Web, with 5 million visitors per month. Run by the husband-and-wife team of Laurel and John since the late ’90s the site contains more than 200,000 erotic stories, including more than 10,000 “non-consent/reluctant” stories. There are female-authored fantasies of truckers raping women at rest stops, depraved criminals raping innocent housewives, and soldiers brutalizing captive women.

But fan fiction features the widest variety of female-authored nonconsensual sex—in some cases downright violent and degrading sex. Stories with such themes are common enough to merit their own identifying tags: Abuse, Violence, BDSM, Tort[ure] and Humil[iation]. Each of these tags is among the ten most popular sexual act descriptors for Harry Potter stories on AdultFanFiction .net. Here is an excerpt from a fan fiction story by Miss Stephanie, featuring the abduction of a muggle by Draco Malfoy:

She fought with renewed strength then, but he smiled in a wicked grimace as he forced her hands over her head and straddled her. . . . Draco felt the heat flare as he ripped her shirt away and caught sight of her rather large breasts. They jounced and wiggled as she struggled again, and another slap stilled her. . . . Her head turned and he saw a trickle of blood alongside her mouth, but this only spiked his arousal, causing his penis to jump with eagerness as he pulled it out. She pushed against him, ineffectually, but he slapped her regardless, and forced her hands down, gripping them with his own hands on either side of her head. . . . He knew that he was wrong, but he wanted to make this last. He had never in his life felt such heat conjoin in his loins, and he was sure the explosion that was building within him was going to be momentous.

In such fantasies, it often seems like something is going on other than the mere desire to be irresistible. “I get off on stories with the rough stuff,” explains Miranda Helmsley, a forty-two-year-old baker. “I don’t know why. I definitely would never want to experience any of the things that turn me on. But I need the girl to be exploited, put in her place with real force from the man. I don’t like to think too much about it, and I definitely would never tell my husband.”

[mirko1929]

пре 33 минута, Милошшш рече

PRAVOSLAVNA ŽENA U SAVREMENOM SVETU – Strana 9 – Svetosavlje

SVETOSAVLJE.ORG

Svetlosne godine bajo moj..

I zato, ako želite da se svidite muževima, dovodite ih u prijatno duhovno raspoloženje

Значи немој му скачеш по живци...

[Paradoksologija]

пре 5 минута, mirko1929 рече

Не знам. Било би занимљиво спровести анкету међу женама између тако неког и неког бејби фејса.

 

Јеси прочитала до краја? Задња реченица Crumb leans back in his chair and laughs. “Yeah. All that changed after I got famous."

Pa bilo bi. Žene ovde su rekle ne, hvala. Uzorak je možda mali, ali prilično reprezentativan.

I jesam, pročitala sam do kraja, tu još neprivlačnije deluje čisto ljudski. Moguće je da status može da donese neki broj žena koje se lože na to ili bar žele da iskoriste, ali volela bih da znam da li je zaista našao sreću i ispunjenost sa nekom osobom ženskog pola.

Nije fer, ali deluje da u velikom broju slučajeva kada je privlačnost među polovima u pitanju, ko ima daće mu se, itd. Određena količina prirodne fizičke privlačnosti uz odrastanje u porodici punoj ljubavi i uz stabilnu ličnost i prijatan temperament dovodi do toga da mnogi drugi ljudi, posebno suprotnog pola, pozitivno reaguju na osobu, što opet dovodi do još većeg samopouzdanja i laganog funkcionisanja među ljudima, bez gaženja i puzanja. Što dovodi do još veće popularnosti kod suprotnog pola. I obratno, nažalost. 

[Paradoksologija]

пре 18 минута, mirko1929 рече

In such fantasies, it often seems like something is going on other than the mere desire to be irresistible. “I get off on stories with the rough stuff,” explains Miranda Helmsley, a forty-two-year-old baker. “I don’t know why. I definitely would never want to experience any of the things that turn me on. But I need the girl to be exploited, put in her place with real force from the man. I don’t like to think too much about it, and I definitely would never tell my husband.”

Razne patologije i razne maštarije postoje, ali je svakako jasno da ogromna većina zaista ne želi nešto ni približno ovome u stvarnosti, i sigurno im to ne bi prijalo. Ko zna i otkud ovakve fantazije, možda potiču i od nekih nerazrešenih trauma koje se na taj način bezbedno u glavi odvijaju ili transformišu u nešto ipak bezbednije, jer je u potpunosti kontrolisano. Ne bih u to učitavala nekakve večne istine o odnosima među polovima.

Najbolji seks je onaj u kome postoji želja, inicijativa i kreativnost sa obe strane. A to može kad postoji poverenje.

[mirko1929]

пре 5 минута, Paradoksologija рече

Razne patologije i razne maštarije postoje, ali je svakako jasno da ogromna većina zaista ne želi nešto ni približno ovome u stvarnosti, i sigurno im to ne bi prijalo. Ko zna i otkud ovakve fantazije, možda potiču i od nekih nerazrešenih trauma koje se na taj način bezbedno u glavi odvijaju ili transformišu u nešto ipak bezbednije, jer je u potpunosti kontrolisano. Ne bih u to učitavala nekakve večne istine o odnosima među polovima.

Najbolji seks je onaj u kome postoji želja, inicijativa i kreativnost sa obe strane. A to može kad postoji poverenje.

Не знам, 62% испитаних жена у студији је рекло да гаји такве фантазије. Не знам какве импликације то има за стварност, међутим сигурно да има неке корелације са women chasing after bad boys стереотипом.

[Paradoksologija]

пре 3 минута, mirko1929 рече

Не знам, 62% испитаних жена у студији је рекло да гаји такве фантазије. Не знам какве импликације то има за стварност, међутим сигурно да има неке корелације са women chasing after bad boys стереотипом.

Ovaj link mi se ne otvara, imaš li možda link ka konkretnoj studiji?

[Paradoksologija]

8 Mind-Blowing Facts About Sexual Fantasies

WWW.WOMENSHEALTHMAG.COM

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Chances are, someone else shares your deepest, dirtiest desires.

Evo i ovde izveštaj o još jednoj studiji objavljenoj u The Journal of Sexual Medicine gde su ispitivali oba pola:

Цитат

5. Many Women Fantasize About Being Dominated
Being sexually dominated (64.6 percent), being tied up (52.1 percent), being spanked or whipped (36.3 percent), and being forced to have sex (28.9 percent) were all reported by a significant number of women. But before you think submission is a girls-only fantasy, men were actually more likely to desire being spanked or whipped (39.6 percent) and being forced to have sex (30.7 percent) than women were.

6. Submission and Domination Fantasies Are Not Mutually Exclusive
Men and women who reported submission fantasies were also likely to have the corresponding domination fantasy—for example, they were just as likely to want to be tied up during sex as they were to want to tie their partner up. Say bye to the popular notion that you have to be either dominant or submissive in bed.

7. Women Are More Likely to Separate Fact from Fantasy
Though tons of women expressed an interest in submission fantasies, approximately half of them specified that they would not actually want to carry them out in real life. This distinction between sexual fantasy and sexual wishes was more common in women than in men. Seems like for women, some things are better left to the imagination.

 Ovde se pominje cifra od 28,9% za žene koje imaju fantaziju o silovanju i 30,7% muškaraca sa istom fantazijom. Takođe se navodi da se fantazija o dominaciji često nalazi u paru sa fantazijom o potčinjenosti, što bi navodilo na zaključak da osoba prosto ima neki fetiš vezan za samu dominaciju/submisivnost, bez obzira ko je u kojoj ulozi, a ne na nekakve opšte zaključke o polovima.

Takođe, seksualna privlačnost će u oba pola gravitirati često ka 'bad boys' ili 'bad girls' u smislu očekivanja da seksualni život para može biti zanimljiv i uzbudljiv, kao i da će partner pokazati inicijativu umesto da samo prati uputstva ili leži nepomično. Očekivanje da partner preuzme kontrolu i radi neočekivane stvari može dovesti i do ekstremnije varijante fantazija, to može biti još jedna hipoteza. 

[mirko1929]

Молим те, преправи линк, да стоји баш линк, а не она безобразна слика. Ипак је ово црквени сајт.

[mirko1929]

пре 16 минута, Paradoksologija рече

Ovaj link mi se ne otvara, imaš li možda link ka konkretnoj studiji?

http://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/18321031/